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2 & 3

Limited copies available at Banner Repeater & Books Peckham, to borrow at Goldsmiths zine library & The Old Waterworks zine library.  Printed to order, get in touch!


Novelised Sequels to Laindon, a short film about Laindon Shopping Centre, Essex. Preview below

Felicity waved her arms frantically to no avail


She had the familiar feeling of being the last one left at the party


Usually her own, after the coke had run out


She pulled herself up off the sofa, tottering in disgusting kitten heels - and not even the good ugly kind


-towards the door, where she became temporarily trapped in a beaded curtain


Freedom at last, a burst of light shone upon her as the door swung open


Where was she?

It looked like that tragic little shopping centre from earlier, but with a specifically different quality that she couldn’t put a finger on. She’d only seen the inside of the - well, whatever it was, warehouse party? Themed bar?


She rued the day that Penelope had sent her on this fucking wild goose chase. Meanwhile, Hugh was taking 2cb and interviewing Jeremy Corbyn. Her story would never get the clicks, not without good footage of whatever the portal people had left to do. Felicity took her phone out and was impressed that, although her clothes had changed, it remained - shoved perilously in a too-small back pocket. It was, however, totally out of juice. She cursed - should’ve known not to listen to Grant, who’d told her not to bring the new iPhone in case it got jacked. Never mind, there must be a shop around. God, she needed a coffee. 


Felicity tottered along the familiar cement walkway, now lined with carefully arranged planters, benches and ornamental freshwater ponds. She saw a glamorous figure stoop to scoop water into a large glittery wine glass and raise it to her lips. She looked very familiar - it was the blonde from earlier in the film! She looked up to catch Felicity’s eye and muttered something to herself - maybe something along the lines of ‘fucksake’ 


‘oH hi babe’ she said


‘i’m so glad to see you’ stammered Felicity, ‘everyone left and i-

Wait… you disappeared too, didn’t you go with the others?’


‘alright, well, to be honest with you I actually really needed a piss’


The two stared at each other for some time

‘Do you have an iPhone 6 charger?’


‘a what?’


‘An. iPhone! SIX. Charger. Please.’


‘yeah I heard u the first time babe, what the fucks that’


Felicity crumpled to her knees in despair. She just couldn’t seem to communicate with these people, and it left her feeling scared - vulnerable. 


Another figure walked over, casting a shadow over Felicity. She looked up at the two portal people. 


‘whose this then?’


‘i dont know, some journo-list’


‘fowt we got rid of all them?’


‘na, from next door’


‘Oh. right. Fair enough.’


The new figure knelt down to get a proper look at Felicity.


‘You Alright Luv?’


Felicity sniffed. ‘that’s - actually - quite, patronising, actually.’


The portal people exchanged looks.


‘Alright, c’mon then’


The 2 portal people started to walk away and Felicity felt she had no choice but to follow them. After all, her journey had a purpose and she was a good person. 

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